


Pants on Fire

by orphan_account



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: M/M, Pants on Fire, Pants on fire PewDiePie, Revelmode - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-24 14:25:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8375599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: DISCLAIMER: I don't own the title, it is the title of the thing they did. Also, the description is taken from Jack's (LIE AND PIE | Pants on fire) video. At least, the first sentence is.Jack takes a lie detector test as Felix throws pies at his face. But, some questions might just reveal how the Irish man truly feels about a certain American.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Link to Jack's video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFIhf7c_FEI&list=PLCKWZxrpqflckjCn4ev-6df3ntVG8nHTR&index=5

Jack is strapped into a polygraph machine, plastic keeping his arms pinned to his side. Felix had just finished strapping him in and goes to sit down.

    “We are going to do a lie detector test. If you lie to me, you get pied. Are you ready?” Felix questions Jack. Jack sighs as he remains strapped. Felix is wearing a white T-shirt with a little person on the left top on his chest, and a black cap with the words,  _ DON’T TALK TO ME OR MY SON EVER AGAIN  _ written on it. He’s wearing black pants also.

    Jack is in a dark T-shirt and black jeans with holes on the knees. 

    “Don’t answer that,” Felix said, pointing and the green-haired man. 

    “Is your accent fake?” Felix questions first. “No,” Jack answers without hesitation, his Irish accent clear as a bell in the single word. “Do you have hairy balls?” Felix asks without pausing. Jack makes a face as he answers, “Yes.” 

    “Are you actually Marina Joyce?” Felix asks, not slowing down. “No,” Jack answers carefully after a pause. “Are you part of ISIS?” Felix questions, his blue eyes on Jack’s. “No,” Jack answers with ease. Felix lets out a small laugh, referencing their one twitter joke that got both of them into trouble, even though he was joking.

    “Are you a good friend?” Felix asks next. “Yes,” Jack answers immediately. “There’s no way that can be true, there’s no way,” Felix says after, looking at the guy. The guy lets him know that it was true. “What?! True?!” Felix cries out. Jack has a proud/smug look on his face. “You think you’re a good friend,” Felix says as he looks away, as they both begin to laugh. Jack felt happy, glad he was able to joke with his friend with such ease. “That’s what that means,” Felix continues.

    “Yeah that’s what telling the truth  _ is _ , Felix,” Jack replies as he chuckles. “Alright, enough of these stupid questions, let’s get into the real business,” Felix interrupts as Jack lets his head fall down as he continues to laugh.

    “Have you ever kissed yourself in the mirror?” Felix questions. “Yes,” Jack says after a pause. Felix waits for the guy, who lets him know that Jack was indeed telling the truth. “Oh my God, yeah it’s a true,” Felix says in a bored tone. “We were all 14 once,” Jack replies, causing Felix to chuckle slightly. 

    “Do you have a crush on Markiplier?” Felix questions and Jack knows this is going to be cut out, along with some of his other answers that were truthful. It would be boring if they were all honest, and he wasn’t about to have the world know his true feelings about Mark. 

    “Yes,” Jack answers truthfully. The guy lets Felix know Jack is telling the truth. “Septiplier away!” Felix cheers as they both laugh. It wasn’t any new news to the two men, or the crew for that matter, that Jack had a major crush on Mark. Unfortunately, Mark wasn’t doing this like Felix, Emma, Ken, Jelle, Jordi, and Josh was. PJ wasn’t doing it, but he was questioning Emma, but Cry, Marzia, Brooke, and Mark also weren’t doing it. 

    If Mark had done it, Felix would probably have questioned him, or Ken, and would have asked him how he felt about Jack. Then, Jack would finally know how the YouTuber felt about him. But, instead, Mark wasn’t doing it and Jack would remain in ignorance.

    “Do you think you’re better at YouTube than me?” Felix continues, looking up at Jack. “No,” Jack says shaking his head with a small smile on his face. The guy tells Felix that Jack is lying. “You son of a bitch!” Felix cries out. “What?!” Jack yells, surprised as he smiles. He was telling the truth, but the guy wanted to add some fun because Jack hadn’t lied yet. 

    “Ohhhhh! You think you’re better than me?” Felix asks, standing up. “No,” Jack says with a laugh as Felix gets in his face. “Is that it?” Felix questions all up in Jack’s grill. “Can we do that again?” Jack pleads, laughing as he is honestly surprised. “Ohhh, well that’s real nice,” Felix commented. “Oh wow, what is it? What you think cause you have green hair,” Felix pats Jack’s left shoulder as Jack laughs, “you’re better than me?” Felix asks.

   “I didn’t turn off the comments,” Jack says in a quiet tone, keeping a neutral face as Felix pie's him with a shaving cream pie. Jack immediately feels the burn in his eyes as it tastes gross. Still, Jack laughs as Felix rubs it into his face. 

    “I’ve waited a long time to do that,” Felix tells Jack as he rubs the pie in his face and on his head. “You son of a bitch. I never liked you. You piece of shit,” Felix tells Jack as he sets what is left of the pie down, and laughs as Jack’s face. “Kiss me Felix,” Jack says snarkily, laughing also, puckering his lips. “Please no, please,” Felix pleads as Jack erupts into laughter. 

    “That’s literally made of nightmares, Jesus Christ,” Felix says as the two men laugh. “I have one eye showing that’s all,” Jack comments as they continue to laugh. “I’m legit scared what the fuck,” Felix laughs as he goes to sit back down. “Can you clear my other eye?” Jack requests in a pleading tone. “No, fuck you. Are you having fun?” Felix questions as he sits down. “Yes,” Jack answers honestly. The guy tells Felix he’s lying.

    After Felix starts laughing, Jack turns his head to see what the guy told Felix. “Fuuuck,” Jack says as he laughs with Felix. “Well you’re about to have fun!” Felix tells him as they continue to laugh. “Why would you lie about that?” Felix asks as Jack replies with, “Son of a bitch.” 

    Felix gets up and grabs a pie and pie’s him directly in the face. Jack spits as much as he can out to create an air pocket so he can breathe. Jack begins to laugh as Felix says, “Oh wait sorry,” before putting it on Jack’s head. “There we go,” Felix says, obviously enjoying himself as he rubs it all over Jack’s face as Jack begins to laugh and tries to spit the shaving cream out of his mouth. It tasted disgusting and was burning his eyes.

    “Sorry I’m trynna help you,” Felix says with a grin. “Oh my God,” Jack mutters. Felix continuously rubs it in Jack’s face. “I’m just doing it to fuck with you,” Felix informs Jack as Jack spits it out of his mouth so he can breathe. “Fucking hell,” Felix says as he walks away to avoid Jack’s wrath. “I can’t even see anymore,” Jack retaliates, the shaving cream covering his blue eyes, causing both men to laugh. “I can’t open my eyes,” Jack continues. 

    “If I was hanging off a cliff and Markiplie was hanging off a cliff, would you save me or Mark?” Felix questioned. Jack knew the answer to that. “You,” Jack lies instead. He wanted to comfort Felix, even though Felix - and everyone else in the room - knew that Jack had a crush on Mark. Sure, Jack liked Signe, but he liked Mark too. Signe knew how Jack felt and accepted him anyway. He didn’t know how he got so lucky with a girl he didn’t really have much of a future with.

    The rest of the room consisted of the crew that was recording the video and the guy at the machine.

    Felix glanced at the guy as he tells him that Jack is lying, despite Jack’s best poker face. Felix opens his mouth before closing it, briefly thinking;  _ Septiplier Away! _ “You, son of a bitch,” Felix says really quietly, although he already knew the answer to the question. 

    “Oh hey I have to go,” Jack says, looking away. Jack had managed to clear his eyes which helped slightly with the stinging. It was a joke, and Jack hoped if Mark watched the video he would think the same thing. 

    “There’s a banana,” Felix informs Jack. “Whahahat?” Jack replies laughing. “Yeah what is that doing here?” Felix questioned as he peeled it and put it in one of the pies. “Oh it went down,” Felix says in shock as it meant it to stand as he laughs with Jack. 

    “Oh nooohoo,” Jack says as Felix grabs two pies - one with a banana and one without - and holds one in each hand and it ready to hit Jack in the back of the head and in the face. “You ready for this?” Felix questions as he gets really close to Jack’s ears. “You like Mark better than me. Huh? Is that how it is?” Felix growls lowly in a slightly aggressive tone, but it’s obvious he’s teasing. 

    “No I swear,” Jack says, and it was obvious that he was lying. Felix pie’s him as Jack finishes what he was saying. Jack begins to laugh as the pies stay on him. “That’s what you get,” Felix says as he begins to walk away, the pies falling off of Jack.

    “This has been pie, with poodiepie,” Felix says with a thumbs up as Jack shakes his head and blows the shaving cream out of his mouth. “I hate you,” he tells Felix. “Don’t lie,” Felix adds, his thumb still up as he stares into the camera. Felix then begins to laugh as he lowers his hand and Jack opens his mouth and spit shaving cream towards Felix.

    “Oh wow I got a call uh okay uh I’ll see ya. It’s been fun,” Felix says as he begins to leave. “What?” Jack questions, confused. “Okay that’s great,” Felix says, going behind the cameras. “Felix,” Jack calls. “I’ll see you later. I’ll come back, I’m sure,” Felix tells Jack. “Ummm,” Jack says as he looks around, helpless and strapped to a clear chair. The plastic wrap binding him from his shoulders to his wrists.

    “Ken?” Jack calls out, looking around helpless. “I wish Mark was here,” Jack comments before Felix comes back to his rescue.

**Author's Note:**

> Link to book cover: http://megacookie2002.deviantart.com/art/Pants-on-Fire-668886375?ga_submit_new=10%3A1490556710&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1
> 
> Most of these words - except for a few - were taken directly from the video. I had the captions on so I could type it all down. Jack said before he played the video that some of the video had been cut because he had been so truthful, and the guy who was working the machine had a sense of humor because he would say he was lying when he was telling the truth. I decided to use these to my advantage, so here it was. Hoped you liked it and the added question that may or may not have happened and been deleted. 
> 
> It's short, but here it is. It took me about 40 minutes to write, so I hope you like it.


End file.
